You're full of hope as you begin re-arranging

It's officially the last day of summer. Despite the fact that I only have one class tomorrow and then a three day weekend. I doubt it'll start to feel like school's begun for at least another few days for me. Which is good, because I'm in such hard-core denial about it. I've had such a wonderful and eventful summer that I've (somewhat purposefully) refused to acknowledge the coming changes until now. I haven't figured out my schedule yet, I haven't bought my books, I haven't even looked at what buildings I'll need to get to; you name it, I've ignored it up until this point. And now school starts tomorrow and I haven't studied German in months and I can almost feel the shame and embarrassment already that will surely come my way tomorrow when I'll no doubt have to speak in front of people or answer a question and will have no idea what was said.
Oh, well.

Despite all those worries, I suppose it will be sort of refreshing to have a regular routine again. The only thing that's been kind of irritating about this summer is the lack of a consistent schedule. My work schedule being all over the place made it kind of difficult to plan things, but now I'll be able to know weeks ahead of time whether or not I'll be able to do something or not. It'll be nice to have that stability again.

But I'm afraid of change. This year is weird already. A good weird, but weird is always uncomfortable. Not knowing what changes the school year will bring is kind of unnerving. And thinking about the fact that in less than 5 months, I'm planning on being in Africa for a whole semester is super scary. And really intensely exciting at the same time. I guess this year scares me because I know how life-changing it may end up being, and anticipating that change is freaking me out.

But I'm planning on taking everything one day at a time. I mean, that's obviously the only thing you can really do, but when I get stuck thinking so far ahead like this, it gets me in this mindset that tons of things are happening at once and it's just this big giant snowball of events that you can't stop. And that's not even what's really happening. Really, things will probably be pretty uneventful for a while. But in my head I'll still be panicking.  I need to take some time to slow down my thoughts and just relax about everything.
Change is usually a good thing, after all.